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  • NOT AFFILIATED WITH THREEA OR ASHLEY WOOD

Adventure Kartel

Header photo: Ashley Wood

What is Adventure Kartel (AK)?

Adventure Kartel is an original intellectual property created by Ashley Wood and TP Louise. The characters were originally revealed via the now defunct 3A Forums. The story has thus far been discovered by way of two-sided poster mini-comics that are released with each unique character toy. The name comes from the name of our protagonists, the Adventure Kartel, which is a team lead by Tommy Mission to battle Zomb MD and his undead minions.* [Source: threeaWiki.com (defunct)]

The AK world has it all, vampires are there, if Tommy had fangs he would be a good vampire etc… vampire is a large umbrella term. Were-creatures are cool as f*ck, but the wolf is kinda tired, maybe a werecat or werefox… As Tommy, Shadow, Johan and Livingston C-gull traverse the greater AK world while running from the Dead Astro you will see different shit!

- Ashley Wood, ThreeA blog Q and A #6

"The occult if you will, metaphysics etc is the backbone of the AK universe, much based on ancient lore, Egyptian being a pillar of it, mixed with classic 19th/20th century English mysticism!"

"The AK world is built on two pillars, the pillar of the OCCULT and the pillar of ROBOTS. Where as the occult world is pretty much lead by the SHADOW family, the Robots have their own linage, PHAROX is like an elder god in this sphere! The longer the AK world can continue the layers will be revealed!"

- Ashley Wood, ThreeA blog Q and A (#11)

WORK IN PROGRESS Lots yet to cover still... Dead Easy Corp, The Shadow Lair, pumpkins and panda bears, F*cking Family Coup, the Zomb Hoard, Rehel, King Finger, Dead Station 2, The Removalists, The Surgery, The Adventure Kathederal...

Locations

The Adventure Kartel centers around a city known as New Andria. Its predecessor, Andria, was leveled by a meteor-like impact 10 years prior. The city renewed, and was reconstructed under the watchful eye and vision of one Seht Shadow ("A business dick from the Mediterranean" - "Adventure Kartel", IDW) - also the figurehead of the Shadow Family. "New Andria" was now the host to all sorts of interesting inhabitants including robots, ghosts, zombs and who knows what else. Deep under New Andria there's speculation that there exists a "thermo-energy thing" powering all these nasty denizens.

The Mysterious Robot Island: A mysterious island that tends to disappear. The source of the robot invaders.

Adventure City suburb of Borely:

Adventure City suburb of Gurdjieff:

Adventure City docklands of Kthuloo:

Newlandria suburbs of Luxoria:

Church of the Heavenly Fist:

The Shadow Family

The Shadow Family is of Mediterranean descent. They appear to be the administrators of the Ankou> (Half-robot? Half-man? Two varieties: standard Ankou and the massive Ankou EX). Ankou don't like Zombs and are the helpers, assistants, bodyguards, etc of the Shadow Family. Mr. Shadow also has control over the Ka-Mumb - steam-powered mummies that serve as foot soldiers for the Shadow Family, as well as hand-maids!

Members of the Shadow family include:

Friends and Associates of the Shadow Family:

  • Dead Astronaut Gangsta, hired by Little Shadow to kill Tommy Mission as a surprise 'gift'.
  • Handsome Wu, legendary film star, popstar, hacker. Handsome Wu is called upon by Little Shadow after her change of heart related to the hiring of dead astronaut to kill her bf Tommy. Little Shadow calls in a favor to Handsome Wu, interupting his skirmishes with the robot invaders deep in the Sichuan Province, to come protect Tommy from the Astronaut. Wu is less than enthused.

The Mission Family

"Mission family members are rather tough, dont go down easy, they are the masters of M.I.A" - Ashley Wood, Q and A #13

Mission Family - Their Skills

Q: We know where Adventure Kartel Tommy Mission learned combat from, but where did Bleak and Merde learn it?

A: Tommy uses brute force, no skills, he just is rather strong and not a normal human to say the least (c'mon he has a glowing severed hand to start), Merde is old school, ex-army, semi professional boxer, good with his hands etc. Merde is the last of the normal Missions.

- Ashley Wood, Q and A (#14)

The Grove Family

Members of the Grove family include:

F*cking Robot Island

Fucking Robot Island is a storyline "trigger for our imagination", according to Ash (Q and A #14). There is a logo associated with it, that appears on toy boxes.

Deep in the lair of Zomb MD

Text from a previous issue of the 3A Newsletter:

“Sooooo Tommy Mission, Emo of Adventure… we meet at last, yes?”

Tommy Mission struggled fruitlessly to escape the heavy chains with which he had been bound.

“Do not take the name of EMO in vain MD! Like a vampire cannot walk in daylight, you cannot succeed in your black… satin… midnight.”

“What? Huh? Succeed? In calling you Emo? Or succeed in feeding you to a vat of hungry Zombie Sharks, Or turning every last living creature into a beautiful ZOMBIEEEE!?”

“You are so NOT the smooth talking, silken sophisti-hate that you think you are. The Kartel will be upon you like the searching tendrils of the dawning sun, bringing light where only darkness dwells! …”

“HAHAHAHA my trusty Boiler Zombs will bind this 'so called' KARTEL in chains, tight chains, just as surely as he bound you!”

“You have only bound my body, not my soaring soul and willful spirit!”

“Oh Christ, I’m not a lonely school girl! Your powers of verse impress me not. My Boiler Zomb will rid the world of the tyranny of your emotional rants forever!”

Tommy Mission threw his head back and laughed heartily.

“You forget. My path is entwined with the Hand of Fate! She will not let my spark be snuffed from this plane by one such as you!”

“Yes, quite so…” Zomb MD snarled in disgust. “Little good that hussy of a hand will do you Mission, you see this time at least, your saviour was also your undoing…”

“What foul lie dost thou speak?” Tommy paled.

“The Hand of Fate that you currently have shoved down deep, errr very deep I might add, into your back pocket is a magical implement, it's true. However it used to belong to someone once… it is after all a real hand…”

“Do not waffle you foul meatpuppet!”

“Annnnd to my Boiler Zomb... Well the hand might have well have been a piece of steak. He sniffed you out faster than a lunch truck.” Tommy Mission looked over the Boiler Zomb as he stood hunched over cautiously eyeing the delicious smelling bulge in Tommy’s back pocket.

“Hurggle nluh, lunj, lunj,” he moistly mumbled. “Yesss, yessss, my handsome boy, you shall have the tasty Hand of Fate … Go! Go to him, take it and feast,” Zomb MD commanded. The Boiler Zomb shuffled towards Tommy Mission, dribbling, mewling and hungrily gnashing his rotten teeth.

“Foul creature, your existence is a mockery of creation, a disease that will one day be wiped from this world.” Tommy barked with authority. Pained, he wrestled hopelessly against the confinement of his chains. Zomb MD let fly with an evil, juicy laugh and a couple of teeth. The laughter echoed about the metal clad walls of his secret underground factory lair. Tommy shivered as the Boiler Zomb groped at his back pocket. He shivered as he felt Boiler’s hot, hungry breath on his back of his neck. With a tug and whelp of surprise Boiler removed the Hand of Fate and lifted it up to his rotting nose.

“Frewd, hergray, nurgl, nuh,” he grunted happily, giving the hand a precursory lick.

“It is as though thou art kissing the ugly girl, completely sober,” Tommy Mission bitterly complained.

Wrongness! Fresh from the grave!”

“Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Herrrr, ha, cough cough…” Zomb MD continued. “You torment my heart like a kitten plays with a ball of wool,” Tommy Mission sapt, hot tears of frustration and black eyeliner pouring down his cheeks.

“Hurgle”
Boiler Zomb uttered as he began to chew on the Hand Of Fate.

“The Hand of Fate, my mistress!” It suddenly occurred to Tommy that the hand had been freed.

“BY THE HAND OFFFF FAAAAATE!” Tommy bellowed!


An intense storm of light filled the secret lair blinding Zomb MD and his trusty Boiler Zomb. The room was filled with the sound of a hundred clicks as the power of the hand unlocked every lock, button and clasp in the room. Zomb MD’s belt gave way and his trousers fell down.

“My Love!”
Tommy sighed as the chains around him fell limp, useless on the floor. Gathering the Hand of Fate from the stumbling, blinded Boiler Zomb. Revenge would be taken tonight against Zomb MD, but not before he had seen this week’s episode of “The Long Dark Shadows of Love” the neo goth action romance teen adventure!

“TV calls meatyman!” Tommy Mission sang while giving Boiler Zomb a good swift kick to the Jacobs.

“Your comeuppance will have to wait.”

To be continued!